You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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