Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
