I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
