This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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