Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
