Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
