She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
