No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
