she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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