God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
