so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
