Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize