What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
