She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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