Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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