In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
