I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
