I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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