he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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