dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize