Just fell off a train. Bad.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
