Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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