We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
