mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just blew my weed a kiss
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need a beard to bite.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
