I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
