Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
