then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
