I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
