Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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