My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
