ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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