she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
