Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
