I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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