hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
