Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
