Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
