Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
someone owes me an orgasm
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
