I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
