I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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