I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize