I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
