She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
