I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize