8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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