I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
