woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
