i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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