she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
