my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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