Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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