So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
