just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
