He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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