He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
