that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize