She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
